How to get a Girlfriend – The 4 Must-Haves Of Any Attractive Man!

how to get a girlfriend at high school

How to Get a Girlfriend in High School

He wasn’t the popular type of guy in his high school. He was the complete opposite. Such as the case with every high school, there are cliques and he didn’t belong in any of them.

There were the cool kids, the kids on the basketball team, the nerdy kids, and the student council kids amongst all the groups.

He knew of the people in those cliques, but he never felt that he belonged in any of them.

He’d later realize that he wandered from group to group during his high school years.

Every break and every lunchtime of each day, he would hang out with a different group.

From the outside,he may look popular?

But on the inside, he was alone. He didn’t feel like he could connect to anyone in this school.

From the early days, he felt that he was not a “popular” kid and he built up a wall. Even though, there weren’t any problems most of the time.

He had always been an observant and sensitive kid. Although there weren’t any problems most of the time, that doesn’t mean there weren’t any.

He was bullied and picked on. The worst came from kids who were previously his friends in grade school.

Due to that, his confidence dropped and his walls grew ever taller. High school is never easy.

That solidified his belief, a negative and self-defeating one at that, which was that he was not popular and was not worth much.

Of course, this wasn’t true, but at his age, he isn’t self-aware at all. The only way he knew how to survive high school was to keep everyone at arm’s length.

This doesn’t help when it comes to “how to get a girlfriend in high school”.

Beliefs and How to Get a Girlfriend in High School

What happens when you hold a negative, self-defeating belief and an observant personality?

He thought he wasn’t popular. But, he noticed that several girls were quite bold and indiscreet around him.

“I think they like me,” he thought.

“But, why would they like an unpopular guy like you?” he readily questioned himself.

“Thinking too much leads to paralysis by analysis. It’s important to think things through, but many use thinking as a means of avoiding action.” – Robert Herjavek

Author’s Note (AN): It’s called self-sabotage. When you combine your negative, self-defeating beliefs and your observant personality. If you don’t know how to control it, your negativity will win out. It’s a genetically, inherited behavior from our caveman ancestors. Being negative and not taking action when there are risks WILL HELP YOU SURVIVE in the days of saber-toothed cats. Except for today, we replaced saber-toothed cats with REJECTION of risks or dangers.

He observed it. He saw it. Girls that liked him, but because of his thoughts, he never took any action. 

… And that is the most unfortunate outcome of all because he will never know what could have been.

AN: If you are in high school and you’re struggling with this kind of stuff, feel free to email me questions and I’ll help any way I can. I don’t want any of my readers to miss the opportunities that I missed myself. Learn from my mistakes.

What if he was mistaken? What if they didn’t like him as he thought?

Those negative thoughts plagued him and stopped him from taking action.

And when you don’t take action, nothing changes.

You stay where you are.

But do know that inaction is also an action.

AN: Years later, I learned when to take action and when not to and how important “inaction” actually is when it comes to relationships and dating.

“I’m from a low-income family. I don’t have much. I don’t have money to buy a girl anything or take them out. I have nothing of worth to offer anyone,” he negatively thought to himself.

AN: Do you see the toxic mindset? 

AN: Also, the most valuable people are the ones who will stick by your side not because of what you have or don’t have, but because you have genuine values, beliefs, and character. There are not a lot of those people these days with people needing to “pretend” on social media.

So, he didn’t date throughout high school.

Years later, he realized, this was the right choice

AN: The reason why it’s the right choice is a story for another day. But, leave a comment or email me and I’ll give you the short answer to “why”.

how to get a girlfriend that you like
Photo by Josef Wörle on Unsplash

How to Get a Girlfriend that you Like

Don’t you want to be that knight in shining armor? That one who lives by his word and honor. The one that arrives at the last minute to save the princess from the fire-breathing dragon?

He was a romantic.

He imagined that one day, he will find “the one”, and he’ll have a family like his parents, aunts, and uncles. A happy family (as seen on the outside).

As expected, Disney and fairy tales primed his mindset into thinking this way.

AN: Is it right? Is it the correct way of how life should be lived?

As he got older, he acquired that well-paying, software engineering job.

That added to his confidence. It made him feel like he had his shit together.

“There are people my age who are still in school or just lazing around without direction in life! I’m not one of them. I have a job. I have savings and investments!” he selfishly thought.

AN: He is not as far from those he thought of condescendingly. After some time, he’ll come to realize, they were in the same place.

One thing changed, his dating life got better. Whereas, in high school, he had no luck with girls, now, he had some luck.

AN: By “dating” he meant “seeing” as in “without labels”.

He was a gentleman. He would call. He would give her attention and initiate conversation. Just like the movies he watched when he was a kid.

But things never went anywhere. It tended to go sideways.

He always felt like he was the one who fell “head over heels” first. Only to be rejected when he asked out his crush that he saw a future with…

“What’s going on? Why doesn’t she realize how much I care about her? Why doesn’t she see it? I’m sure that if I persist enough, she’ll come around!” he thought to himself.

Sound familiar?

That’s exactly like a movie script and that movie script always ends in a happy ending where the guy persists and the girl realizes his love for her. They get married and live happily ever after.

Sad thing is, the usual movie script never translates to real life.

For his life, each time, she left and never called back. Even worse, the last one who he thought was “the one” decided to go off with another guy.

Each time this happened, he fell into despair and he got depressed. His confidence would be crushed and his self-worth shattered. He wouldn’t be able to focus on his job.

On the outside, it looked like he had his shit together, but on the inside, he was a mess.

Here are the 4 Steps on How to Get a Girlfriend That You Like

  1. You should be confident
  2. You should have your shit together
  3. You should be a gentleman
  4. You should call her and ask her out and give her the attention she deserves

If you do all that, she’ll recognize your persistence and know that there won’t be anyone else that will care for her as much as you do, and you’ll end up together – happily ever after.

And if you’ve been doing that, and things aren’t happening – you’re messing up somewhere.

AN: Of course, you’ll be super confused by now by my 4 Steps. The first three are important just to be a good guy. And good guys don’t finish last; they are prized possessions and are in high demand. If you’re not getting that attention, you’re not a good guy (yet). But, if you subscribe to my newsletter, you’ll be getting the “how-to” on becoming that guy. The last step is complete bull. Attention is earned and given by mutual respect. That goes for both men and women. If anyone disrespects you, they do not deserve your attention and you need to walk away.

how to get a girlfriend - Catfished
Photo by Milos Prelevic on Unsplash

You Were Catfished Into This Entire Story

If you haven’t realized yet, this is a personal story – it’s my story.

And if you haven’t realized yet, I’ve taught you nothing about “how to get a girlfriend”

AN: I wanted to help you focus on yourself to be the man you were born to be.

Honestly, before I “pulled myself out of the matrix,” I wasn’t any type of man any woman would want. If I were a woman, I wouldn’t date me.

I was just so needy… I was just so WEAK…

But I know that I wasn’t the only one. There are still millions of men out there who are where I was.

And if this post resonated with you, then I hope you subscribe to my newsletter to get more posts like this! (a guy must sell himself right ;))

Jokes aside, my personal experience is that women like guys who are after their goals because they appear and, eventually, are successful. They stand at the top.

And females from any animal species would always choose the top-ranking males because that means their offspring would be successful.

AN: You may think that humans are higher-order mammals that don’t think like that because we’re “intellectuals.” I’m here to say that’s bull because 1) It’s wired in our genes, our DNA, to pick the healthiest and strongest mate and 2) We’re emotion-driven animals. You can’t even argue about that.

Here’s What I Learned About Women

Disclaimer: What works for me may not work for you. So, the best you can do is to test and adjust (without a doubt, I am a pretty scientific guy).

Women don’t like it when you chase after them. Contrary to popular belief, they like to chase.

You have to allow them to use their imagination and give them time to find feelings for you.

The more they focus on you, the more they’ll think “Who is this mysterious character Why isn’t he like all the other guys that fawn over me?”

AN: There’s a reason why the mysterious billionaire and the mysterious vampire who can’t tell people that he’s a vampire are popular in romance novels. 

Unlike your competition, who are open-books and WILL get tossed.

You will be a spellbook, to which, a girl will need to level up to unlock another secret spell about you.

“What else could there be about him?” she’ll think as her imaginations run wild for you.

AN: This trick works both ways by the way…

Give her time and never chase.

At most you can ask her out twice and if she says “no” or try to get you to chase her instead…

Move on.

If someone is not enthusiastic about going out with you, it is NEVER worth the effort…

And after you’ve asked so POLITELY.

What You Should Focus on Instead of The Girl – The REAL 4 MUST-HAVES of an Attractive Man

Here we go, fellas. Here are the 4 Must-Haves of any Attractive Man and My Beliefs About These 4 Must-Haves.

  1. As a man, you should focus on YOURSELF

What makes you attractive is NOT being the knight in shining armor. What makes you attractive is being the BEAST. The slayer who will not be afraid to RIP HIS ENEMIES APART if they get in your way.

AN: I do not condone violence (unless necessary). This is to pump you up. But it is also the truth.

  1. As a man, this is what you’ll face and have to deal with

It’s a fundamental belief of mine and it’s been cited in a lot of places (as long as you’ll know what to look for) that:

  • Women value success.
  • Men value beauty and youth.
  • It’s wired in our biology, genetics, D.N.A., etc.

I mean face it, if you ask a girl if she would date a homeless guy, the answer will likely be “NO”.

If you flip the situation for a guy and a homeless girl that’s youthful and beautiful, the answer will likely be “YES”.

It’s just how things are. Deal with it. Your time will come as long as you plan for it.

  1. As a man, you should focus on your purpose and meaning in life

If you don’t have that, you will not have any luck in dating. Humans are purpose-driven; they need something to go after to give them a meaning in life, to feel fulfilled.

Men must tie purpose and meaning to acquiring assets and building an empire.

In human society, assets and control dictate success, don’t you agree?

A man with more money is seen as secure, and a man without any money is not.

It’s comparable to the crab with the biggest claws or the bull with the biggest set of horns. Those are the indicators to females that they are the alpha males.

If you were a woman, and all else being equal between two men, except their assets, whom will you pick?


  1. Don’t focus on being a Knight, Be a F*CKING KING!

A knight in shining armor is a SIMP. He fights and serves his queen.

When the queen sleeps and bears the child of the king, who the knight also serves.

The king also has mistresses (disclaimer: I don’t support polygamy, it distracts you and takes you away from your life mission).

The most important piece on the chessboard is the king and once he’s gone, the game ends.

Knights aren’t memorable, but Kings are.

When it comes to knights, we can mention one: Sir Lancelot.

When it comes to Kings, the list goes on: King Arthur, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Marcus Aurelius, Napoleon Bonaparte, etc.

Who would you rather be? The Knight? Or the King?

how to get a girlfriend - end of road
Photo by Sophie Dale on Unsplash

What Will You Get At the End of The Road?

So this entire post did not tell you anything about “How to get a girlfriend”.

I tried to impart with your wisdom I wish I had in my younger years.

You’ll find that a girlfriend is not needed or wanted.

Just “ANY” girl or even the girl you liked may not be a complement to your life.

And your time is valuable, as is your purpose and your mission and if the girl you like doesn’t support it, that will be trouble and will cause much unhappiness and war.

Because your mission is always your #1 priority.

If you make her your #1 priority you risk placing her on a pedestal and her taking you for granted. Give her that opportunity and she’ll take it.

It’s a mistake I made more times than I care to admit.

Give her that chance and she’ll leave because a man without a purpose is unattractive.

AN: And stay away from that MGTOW shit, it’s just a bunch of bitter guys who are complaining and festering because they can’t attract girls in their negativity. There are great men and women out there and as you improve yourself and follow your light, you’ll naturally attract them into your life and repel the bad ones. That’s what happened to me. It’s completely mysterious, unexplainable, and mystical. But it works; you just have to trust me on this.

I hope you enjoyed this post, it’s kind of different, but I hope it pumped you up. It was more of a happy go lucky post than anything. It will surely get some hate for sure because it goes “against the grain,” but if it resonated, please leave a comment and join my newsletter!


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